My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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