it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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