I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize