You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
