Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
