is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
