WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
