Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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