i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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