I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
