You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
be right there i have to get my cape
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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