Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
