Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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