he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
