I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize