So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize