the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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