The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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