are you so shy because you have an std?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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