yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
