I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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