hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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