dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
