Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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