hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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