So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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