I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
im on a boat
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