Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
