i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
