She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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