how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
