Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You ruined the universe
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
