we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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