I like to think it a success when the cops are called
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
