THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
