i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize