The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
