thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
