Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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