If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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