I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish I only lived at night.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
