why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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