so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
