what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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