how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
