butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I won the penis lottery.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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