I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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