Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In America we eat man semen.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
