is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
