Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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