Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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