God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
only if we run a train.
done.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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