Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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