It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
