i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
