my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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