i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
