Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
