you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
