At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
