Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
