btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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