I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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