How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize