ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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