AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
